Global Warming: Rebecca is Blown Away

What is with global warming? Isn’t it supposed to be “warmer”? Here I am promising to go out this summer and take it all off for you and the temperature decides to dip! My titties can even get frostbite in this weather! It was ironic when I went out for some sightseeing at Inspiration Point to check out the beautiful Pacific Ocean for all my fans around the world that I could barely stand in the wind! It was 80 degrees when I left my friend’s house. By the time we got to the coast it was 45 degrees and so windy I couldn’t keep my skirt down! Imagine that! One of the most beautiful spots in the world and I couldn’t keep my clothes on? I am such a wimp from my cold snowy days in Ohio that I must truly be a California girl by now. I have to admit those Santa Ana winds felt really good and refreshing!

You think Marilyn did well posing over that warm heating grate blowing up her skirt? Well then you’ll appreciate those California Pacific Ocean breezes blowing up my skirt. They had my nipples standing on end. Well let’s see if we can get you a little stiff as well! Come on in and let’s see if I can show you a little Global Warming as well!

Little Red Rebecca Riding Hood

Who’s Afraid of THE BIG BAD WOLF? He just wants to eat me!

This is the story of Rebecca, an innocent wife and businesswoman from the ‘hood who was lusted for by every construction worker, bus driver and business person who laid their eyes on her ass. One day she found a red velvet jacket at the department store and fell in love with it so much that they called her Little Red Rebecca. Once hot day, Rebecca wore a minidress under that coat, and before she took off for work her husband reminded her not to talk to strangers or take off the coat before she got to work. He knew she was still innocent and could easily be tempted. She promised him that she would, but that morning would be the last of innocent Rebecca.

Does this story sound familiar? Well it is no fable. This story has a surprise ending and might not be the same as some other similar stories that you might have heard. All I can tell you that there is no moral to this story. In fact there are mo morals at all! Why don’t you sit back in bed, lay back close your eyes and let me read you a sweet story. If you get a little scared I promise to hold your hand or something else.


Happy Father’s Day – Gift Ideas for You!

Just wanted to wish you dads out there a Happy Father’s Day! Below is an article about What Dad’s really want on Father’s Day. Guess What?! No Chocolates, Flowers, Ties, etc.

As Father’s Day fast approaches (it’s June 20th), moms everywhere are trying to figure out what gift will really make their guys smile. We asked more than 4,000 dads to be honest and tell us what they REALLY want for Father’s Day.

According to our poll, all Dad really wants is some private time with Mom — or at least a day to NOT hang out with the kids. Low on the list (2.7 percent) was a day alone with the kids — which, incidentally, is consistent with how some of us moms want to spend our time on Mother’s Day! Here’s what dads want most, according to our poll:

•A BJ from Mom — 2,811 (58.9 percent)

•Sex with Mom — 1,009 (21.2 percent)

•A Day WITHOUT the kids — 280 (5.9 percent)

•Expensive booze — 256 (5.4 percent)

•Handmade crafts from kiddies — 175 (3.7 percent)

•A day alone with the kids — 128 (2.7 percent)

•A “World’s Greatest Dad” mug, shirt or hat — 111 (2.3 percent)

Are you surprised by the results?

Copies for Only $0.49

Only $0.49

So I was off to a conference in Illinois, but they lost my luggage!  I had all my copies of my presentation in my luggage and needed to go and get more made.  I was on my own with no assistant to help me.  It was early in the morning and the hotel’s business services group wasn’t even open yet!  So much for 4-star hotels!  Finally I found a copy store in the Loop.  Making copies is no easy task anymore.  The choices are so difficult.  Black and white, color, landscape, portrait, bonded paper, etc.  Oh well, it’s not my money.  So off to the copy store I went.  They told me it would be an hour before they’d be done.  What to do?

Chicago is a great place to visit, but I was stuck with no clothes and waiting for my presentation that I needed to give that afternoon. So if I sit on the copier, will they charge me $0.49 or $0.98 for a copy of my bum?  What do you think?    I must say, that Midwesterners are the most hospitable people even on a Monday morning!  I hated waiting though.  Come on in and see how I passed the time!

Rebecca’s Liquor Cabinet & Contest

Where does a girl hide her liquor? I’ll never tell, but I can tell you how she likes to hold her licker. Either way it can be very refreshing. Honestly I’ve been trying to kick the habit, so my husband removed all of my favorites from the cabinet and hid them, but I’ve found a few bottles here and there. Now I have to sneak around the house to get to that sweet taste on my lips. Besides, after a long day I need a little wetness on my lips. My gosh, you don’t think I have a problem do you? By the way, I don’t like to drink alone. You can be my designated licker. Think you can do that? Yeah, I think you’ll be under the table. (CONTEST ALERT) And if you are one of the first 2 to tell me the nickname of the expensive wine in the member’s section of this pictorial, I’ll give you an additional month free membership.

My liquor cabinet has some pretty late hours! Do you think you can help out? I’ll sneak out around a little after midnight. Meet me in the kitchen and I’ll show you where the secret stash is. We’ll have to be very quiet. Do you want to see how well I hold a woman like me holds her liquor? Then I will see you there. Don’t forget to bring your ID, I only serve those properly aged.

Rebecca Chases the Clouds Away

All of this Global Warming stuff has everything really screwed up. It used to simply be about April showers bringing May flowers, but the weather patterns have changed and now it rains in May so much that the flowers don’t really come until June! Well we all know that being wet isn’t so bad! In fact getting drenched is what you love about a woman. Well my days of wet T-shirt contests are all gone, but you need not get my clothes wet to see what’s underneath. The crazy rains and weather of May have left me ready to to break loose this summer and give you a tease of what is yet to come. You might call it Rebecca’s Monsoon of love. I’ll shower you this summer with everything I’ve got.

I just love the summer weather. I don’t really need an excuse to wear less clothes, but it sure helps to wear shorter skirts, no bras, or nothing at all. Do you want to get a little peek at my summer wardrobe? I think we’ll be a little bit more colorful this year. More brights and whites. Let’s replace this rain with sun and fun okay? Are you ready? Let’s go.