Movie Review: Annabelle Creation

So do you like scary movies?  Have you seen the Conjuring movies and the first Annabelle movie?  Then this movie is great for you.  Now, you don’t need to see those movies to understand how this movie fits in.  They actually do a good job of splicing this together in the end.  That said, I do suggest you see all of these movies in the order in which they were made.  Can you believe there really is an Annabelle doll?  For real?  Yes, this is a true story.  The doll though does not really look like the one in the movie.

So the movie picks up from before any of the other movies and explains how the doll came to be.  Of course the movie has those scenes that make us cringe.  Opening doors that nobody should open or choosing to be alone even when scared.  Oh my gosh you just want to curl up in a ball and run!  I think I screamed out loud 4 times while watching this movie.  The director does a great job getting you to the edge of your seat and  building the tension in your body.

This movie will make you jump!  I give it a 3 out of 5 erections.  Freaked me out for sure!

 

Movie Review: Hitman’s Bodyguard

What I love about living in Hollywood is that we get to see a lot of screenings and premieres before they hit the national audience.  I am always getting free tickets from friends in the industry.

Last week we went to see “Hitman’s Bodyguard” starring Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson.  I knew it was a buddy movie going in a la Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker; Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy; Mel Gibson and Danny Glover.  I just wasn’t sure how this movie would go.  There is a fine line between action movies and comedies.  Too funny and the story line loses seriousness around the plot.  Too much action and then you lose the lightness of the characters.

Surprisingly Jackson and Reynolds do a great job with their Odd Couple rendition of buddies and Selma Hayek has a really great role in the show too.  I really am not good on the technicalities of action scenes, but my bf, loved the chase scene in Amsterdam which was pretty amazing and scenic.

The movie is not going to win any Academy Awards, but I highly recommend seeing this movie on the big screen.  It was extremely entertaining.  By the way, if anyone knows the house at the beginning of the movie, I’d love to live in a house like that with cameras focused on me so that you could watch me all day!

I give the movie 5 stiff erections (out of 5)!

 

Movie Review – Alien: Covenant

I saw Alien: Covenant on opening weekend in heavy anticipation of seeing how it would connect Prometheus to the original Alien movie.  I was also told it would make things more transparent and it would be really scary.  Scary I am not sure about but definitely suspenseful with non-stop action.   In typical Ridley Scott fashion it was dark with lots of fighting.

What I really like about the film is that they didn’t get too crazy with new technology.  I always hate when you see recent movies that are supposed to precede a famous movie that was from 20 years ago and now the technology looks so much better (Star Wars).  So the new Androids are upgraded, but still aren’t necessarily better, the guns aren’t better, etc.

What the movie does do well is close the chapter on Prometheus.  What it doesn’t do yet is tie into the original Alien movie.  It doesn’t really explain the Corporation and how it continues it’s plan.  It doesn’t explain how the Aliens continue to expand.   It does explain how they evolve into their current state.

I definitely recommend it for any Alien fan.  You have to watch them all out.  It definitely does a great job of making more sense out of the Prometheus movie.  There are lots of great Easter eggs in this movies.  Go check it out unless you have no interest in this series.

I give the movie a 3 erection out of 5 rating.

Before you watch this movie, here are a few things you should do first:

  1. Rewatch Prometheus if it has been awhile
  2. Rewatch this video about how David was created: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJ7E7Qp-s-8
  3. Watch this Short on the creation of Walter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4Cmf4BuNgg
  4. Watch this short called the Last Supper: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkXgRlRao5I
  5. Watch this short called The Crossing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeMVrnYNwus

SPOILERS (Read at own risk)

There are weird things for me.

  • It appears Daniels figure out it is not Walter way before when stitching and other things happen after the fight?
  • Why does David help kill the creature?
  • Why did all those people turn into statues and not just become Aliens?  Remember in the first movie how the guy becomes infected and just disintegrates into the water?
  • So where do we go from here?  Do we go to the new colony and find out if David incubates Tennessee and Daniels or some of the new colonists?

Movie Review: Guardians of the Galaxy 2

So I went out on opening weekend to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2.  I was skeptical of this concept initially and did not see the first one until it hit On-Demand, but I eagerly anticipated it.  Disney and Marvel have put a lot into this movie including Free Comic Book Day yesterday, creating a whole new ride at Disneyland, and adding many cameos into the movie.

Don’t listen to just me, but everyone else I heard leaving the theater also said this one was almost funnier and better than the first which says a lot.  I was laughing so hard!  I also loved the music almost as much as the first movie.  If you love 70s and 80s Pop/Rock you will be checking Google to remind you who sang certain songs.  Quick, who sang the song “Brandy”?

Overall there is a lot packed into the 2 hr 15 min. movie and you’ll leave with your friends re-counting the different scenes and reminding each other about the different small scenes the movie uses to stitch things together.  Of course, as in all Marvel films, Stan Lee has a quick cameo.  It is pretty quick, so don’t miss it.

My favorite scene?  The one with Groot dancing.

Make sure to see this movie if you loved the first one.  Also don’t forget to stay for all the credits so you see the little extras and outtakes from the movie.

Movie Review: Life

Went to see the movie, “Life” and it did not disappoint from a special effects and thriller standpoint, but I will get to the point.  Thrillers for me are better when the actions are plausible and smart.  I find in the movie that many of the circumstances and situations in the movie did not seem like the right or most plausible actions, all the way up to the very end scene.

You know those movies where people are running from a very slow Frankenstein but always keep tripping and falling until he catches them because they can’t manage to stay on their feet despite his inability to run because of his bad limp?  Or how about when they hide in place for too long letting him catch up when they should be running and putting more distance between them.  Well this movie is a lot like that.  In fact, it isn’t until the final scenes that they decide to do what I would have done 2 hours earlier in the movie and by then they are in even deeper doo-doo.

The possible outcomes are pretty predictable throughout the movie so the outcome did not surprise me and was the least suspenseful part of the movie.   I give it a 3 erections out of 5 although it was entertaining

Movie Review : Moana

So I had to babysit my boyfriend’s kid the other night and we watched Moana.  Yes it was a Disney film and I don’t normally watch these kinds of movies anymore, but they are so cute and always filled with the right messages of fulfilling your destiny, overcoming your fears, girl power, etc.

I do think that secretly why I do not watch these movies is that I don’t want to catch myself getting into it and not being able to get the catchy song out of my head (remember “Let it go” from Frozen).  Well there is a song just like that in Moana.

I have to say it is fun.  I love the Pirate Coconuts.  I laughed pretty hard with that and the stupid chicken.  I have to admit graphics have gotten a lot better these days.  I’d give this 3.5 erections out of 5.  If you want good innocent fun, have a peek at this one.

Movie Review: Logan

Are you looking for an action-packed superhero movie?  Well this past weekend I watched Logan which I believe is the third installment of the Wolverine series.  If you don’t follow Superheroes, Wolverine is part of the X-Men superhero group.  Quite frankly it is hard to follow and I would not have known half the characters except I had a little brother who was into this stuff.

The problem is that there have been like a dozen of these Xmen movies, not to be confused with the popular Avengers movies (Ironman, Captain America, Thor, etc.) and it is hard to keep up.

While this movie sets you up well without the need for lots of knowledge about how, what or why, I did find myself trying to rack my brain and wonder where I left off in a previous movie.  It is also a long movie of over 2 hours and 40 minutes, so make sure you don’t drink too much during the movie or at least go to the bathroom before!  There is lots of violence with the severing of multiple body parts.

I won’t throw you any secrets or spoilers out there, but I do recommend this movie for action packed movie fans I give it 3 out of 5 erections.  As always with these films, watch for the teasers during the credits.

Movie Review – Get Out

Oh my gosh!  I wasn’t sure that I was going to see this movie.  The trailers looked really good, but I wasn’t hearing about anything from everyone and then noticed it was the number one box office hit two weeks in a row.  What you see in the previews is that a black guy is trapped or possibly drugged and captured at the house of some white people.

I won’t give it away, but I will say that now I know why nobody has said anything because the movie is surely a surprise.  What I can tell you is that my boyfriend and I walked out of the movie and some black girls looked at me with him and said, “That won’t last for long!”  It was kind of a joke.  I looked at my boyfriend who does not like scary movies and had been wriggling in his seat the whole time and asked him what he thought.  He was like, “It was entertaining, but that was some messed up shit!”

I have to agree that while a very interesting movie with a very different plot than what I had imagined, the reactions of the crowd were priceless.  People didn’t know how to react.  I kept telling my boyfriend not to worry.  He laughed.

I’d love to tell you the whole story, but I will let you watch it yourself.  I will be interested to see if you pick up on some of the clues as the movie marches along and the plot is revealed.  I will tell you one thing…watch what everyone’s reaction is during the traffic stop.  At the end of the movie, you will say….”Ah, now that makes sense”.

I give this movie 5 out of 5 erections!!

Movie Review: Lion

So I thought I’d get this out there before the Oscars air tonight.  My favorite movie of the year is Lion.  Not only is the story just so heart-warming and sad, but the movie is shot so beautifully.  The story is about a little boy in India who gets separated from his family and after almost 25 years starts a journey back to find his family.

Did I mention this is a real story.  Did I cry?  You bet I did.  I saw lots of great movies this year, but I found this one to be the best of them all.  Forget La-La Land.  Every so often a musical comes out and wins awards.  I love Emma Stone, but that movie is overrated.

As for the show?  I love the dresses of the Oscars actresses, but I am not really into the acceptance speeches and politics of it all.  Just wake me in the morning and tell me who won!  Yes I hope it is Lion.

What was your favorite movie?  I obviously liked Rogue One but that movie isn’t winning for anything but special effects.

Rogue 1- Movie Review

thRogue 1 is the real prequel that bridges the gap between Episode 3 and 4.  It takes place leading up to the days of the first movie produced in 1979.  I must tell you that I am a bit of a geek and love these movies and that this is one of the best in the series in a long time.

I saw this movie in IMax 3D and it did not disappoint although I am sure it looks equally great in pure digital format on a large screen.  I will not tell you what happens in the movie as part of the fun of the movie is guessing how this ties up to Episode 4 and who you might see along the way.

What really worked for me is that the movie holds true to the real story and that I felt like the costumes and seriousness and mild humor really reflected the same excitement as the original Star Wars movie.

See this movie this holiday season!  I give it a perfect 5 erections!!!