IT – Movie Review

I was originally going our to see Bladerunner 2049, but it was sold out, so we thought we’d try Thor, but that movie was sold out and has had bad reviews. So it was down to our 3rd choice.

Yes I admit that I had originally resisted seeing the remake of the Stephen King written, “It”.  If you read the book, it reads as a story covering two eras and was quite scary with lots of little tidbits that make you want to leave the lights on in the room.  The problem with Stephen King novels is that the supernatural is a very hard thing to translate to the movie screen.  When the original was filmed in the 80’s I feel like the Director made many shortcuts and not only did I not find the movie to be scary, but I actually thought some things were so ridiculous, that I laughed.

Well I normally don’t like remakes, but I have to say this movie thoroughly surprised me.  First, I was really scared.  I kept curling up in my seat in anticipation holding onto my boyfriend.  Secondly, I liked that they skinnied the movie down and focused only on the characters and their past in 1989.  The movie ends at the end of summer and the leave the second half of the movie to Chapter 2.  Yes they already are in production for the second half of the movie.

The film really allowed for better character development of each kid and I loved it.  These kids were really put in very scary situations and the light little humor that the film allows was well done beginning with references to New Kids on the Block and other 80’s icons like Molly Ringwald.  If you like to get your scare on every so often, ths movie will not disappoint.

I give this a 4 out of 5 erections.

Movie Review: Kingsman – The Golden Circle

I loved the original Kingsman and although I was sure I was going to be entertained by the sequel, I was worried it wasn’t going to be that entertaining.  Quite the contrary, I was very pleased and was also glad that I re-watched the original!  There are lots of references and continuations from the original in this movie. What is not to like about this movie?  I mean, a regular movie that talks about anal sex?  What is there not to like? LOL!

Actually I found myself thinking about why James Bond movies weren’t as fun anymore.  It doesn’t have the humor and gadgetry like Kingsman does.  They have really gone in the right direction and the cameos of people like Elton John in this movie was a beautiful touch!

The movie was a hair long, but other than that, I was thoroughly entertained and thought it had the proper amount of sexiness, humor, action, and plot!

Do I recommend this movie?  Yes!  I give it  5 blowjobs out of 5

Movie Review: “It” (Original 1990 Version)

Okay, so this past weekend we decided to go out and see the original version of the new movie , “It”.  We wanted to see it because we feel if you are going to watch a remake, we need to see the original.  We will do the same with Bladerunner as well.  Well all I can say is NO, NO, NO.

Well maybe now I know why they wanted to remake this movie.  My boyfriend says that other than Carrie or The Shining that no Stephen King movies have been better than the books.  I guess they are hard to replicate all the supernatural thoughts on those pages.   So let’s just say, the movie was NOT scary.  The acting was really bad.  The special effects were awful.  Some say this was meant to be campy.  I don’t like campy.  And what does campy mean anyhow?

Now you might say, “Rebecca, this was 1990”.  True, but given that Star Wars was 10 years old and that The Shining had already been done, this is not even close.  I was also thinking about it and they mostly used TV actors John Ritter (3’s Company), Tim Reid (WKRP in Cncinnati), Harry Dean Anderson (Night Court), and a bunch or people who were guest stars on Love Boat and Fantasy Island from the ’80s.  Their movie acting was almost comedic.  Watch their reactions.  They don’t teach that in acting school.  Lastly, Tim Curry (who plays Pennywise the Clown) openly says that they wish they did not do the remake so people did not watch the original to see how bad it was.  Tim is by far the best performance in the movie, but even he is embarrassed that little blip on his resume is being highlighted.  Just undoes his role in the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

So I guess I give this only a 1 out of 5 erections.  Only watch to satisfy your curiosity.  I will hopefully enjoy the new movie much more.  I have been hearing that it is good.  I hope so.

Movie Review – “mother!’

So do you not want to know too much about a movie before you see it?  Well that usually is me, but I would recommend that before you see this movie, you should do a little research.  I am not someone who comes out of movies totally clueless, but I came out of this movie with some questions and when I read the synopsis that should only be read by people who have seen the movie, I found that I had missed the point of the movie altogether!  I went back and talked about it with some friends and we were all saying, “What?……..Totally did not see that but it makes sense.”

I guess the problem is that this movie was sort of billed as a horror movie and ended up being more of an artsy, religious, sci-fi thriller.  So if you want some advice.  Study the small clues about the movies in all the trailers.  Take a look at the movie poster (copied it here).  Look for the one capitalized letter in all the signage in the movie promotion. If you don’t come away noting one or two things about the movie, then you are gonna miss the point.

I came out of the movie originally disappointed.  I thought the movie was a little slow at first and that I was not scared, but more confused.  I did not like the way it ended and that was because I missed the point.  I also had questions about certain things in the movie and didn’t understand them and that was because I missed the point and symbolism too.  Symbolism……yes, that is the key.  Look for lots of things in the movie representing symbols of things we know of.  Who are Ed Harris and Michelle Pfeiffer supposed to represent?  Who are Javier Bardim and Jennifer Lawrence supposed to be?  Who are Ed and Michelle’s characters supposed to be?  Kristen Wiig? What the heck is she doing in this non-comedy?  If you can answer those questions, then you will solve half of the mysteries of the movie, but don’t blink or you might miss the clues.

After you have seen the movie, read the synopsis written by the Telegraph UK.  Then you and I will be on the same page.

I give this movie a 2 out of 5 erections, but I am not the kind of person who should watch this movie.  It just isn’t the type of movie I like.  We were debating between this and Stephen King’s “It”!  I think I chose wrong.

 

Movie Review: Hitman’s Bodyguard

What I love about living in Hollywood is that we get to see a lot of screenings and premieres before they hit the national audience.  I am always getting free tickets from friends in the industry.

Last week we went to see “Hitman’s Bodyguard” starring Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson.  I knew it was a buddy movie going in a la Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker; Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy; Mel Gibson and Danny Glover.  I just wasn’t sure how this movie would go.  There is a fine line between action movies and comedies.  Too funny and the story line loses seriousness around the plot.  Too much action and then you lose the lightness of the characters.

Surprisingly Jackson and Reynolds do a great job with their Odd Couple rendition of buddies and Selma Hayek has a really great role in the show too.  I really am not good on the technicalities of action scenes, but my bf, loved the chase scene in Amsterdam which was pretty amazing and scenic.

The movie is not going to win any Academy Awards, but I highly recommend seeing this movie on the big screen.  It was extremely entertaining.  By the way, if anyone knows the house at the beginning of the movie, I’d love to live in a house like that with cameras focused on me so that you could watch me all day!

I give the movie 5 stiff erections (out of 5)!

 

Member Erotica – Part 14: The Theater

When Maria got home and she parked the car and before she went into the house she got some tissues and cleaned up the cum that was on her car seats, grabbed an old overcoat and put it on over her torn dress and went upstairs to her bedroom and got undressed. When she took her panties off the cum was still dripped onto the floor. She couldn’t believe how much cum there was.  She went into the bathroom and took the gauze off her tattoo and then switched on the shower and got in and washed herself down to get all the cum of her body and clean her vagina as well. She made sure that she cleaned her tattoo as well and then when she was finished she slowly dried herself.  She decided the tattoo was looking okay.  It had been 10 days since she got the tattoo and it looked fine, so she put the bandages away. After dinner she got into bed and fell asleep exhausted as soon as her head hit the pillow and began to have a fantasy of her Black Master fucking her in the dirty bathroom.

What Maria did not know was that her Black Master was already arranging a new client for Rebecca and the client wanted to pay to live out a fantasy of fucking a classy white woman in a dumpy adult theater while people watched. He submitted in his request that he wanted to go to a adult cinema and sit next to a bored rich horny white woman watching a porno and begin to touch her up and then have her fuck him while everyone was watching. What the client did not know was that he was writing to Rebecca’s Black Master and not Rebecca. He agreed to help him live out his fantasy and arrange for him to prove that he was black as Rebecca only fucked black cocks. The Black Master asked for more details and timing. The client sent an email reply with what Rebecca wanted to know, a photo and a deposit so that she could see what he looked like. The Black Master checked his references and agreed once the deposit went through. After getting the deposit, her Black Master sent an email saying that she would meet him on Friday at the Tiki Theater on Santa Monica ( https://local.yahoo.com/info-20414053-tiki-theater-los-angeles?stx=Tiki%20Theater&csz=Los%20Angeles,%20CA&fr=lsrp )at 7.00pm and he sent an email saying that he could not wait to meet her on Friday.

Maria got up on Monday and she was feeling really horny.  It was the start of a new week and got herself ready for work. When she arrived at her office she went into her office and dove into her work as a distraction. As the day went on Maria would check her phone to see if there was any text from her Black Master but saw nothing. She would laugh every now and then when someone would call her Rebecca. Finally she got an email telling her to be ready for Friday night.  She was both excited and sad.  She needed a black cock now and she’d have to wait til Friday. On the way home she drove by the theater.  It was a dump.  She was tempted to stop and go inside to stake it out, but decided to not stop as the neighborhood was pretty sketchy. She was horny.  On the way home she saw (http://www.thepleasurechest )and decided that she would satisfy her curiosity and go in.  She heard all the celebrities went there for their sex toys. She would never have gone before, but the Black Master had awakened a sexual beast within her.  So she stopped and went in and looked around.  She felt awkward as other men stared at her as she shopped.  She kept her sunglasses on in case she recognized someone.  She found what she was looking for and it was a big black dildo.  When nobody was looking she quickly paid for it and left as the man behind the counter was looking at her smiling.  He jokingly asked her if it was big enough and if she realized they also had it in white.  He said it loud enough for those nearby to hear and snicker.  She quickly gave him the cash and said no.  He smiled and threw in a bottle of lube for being a good sport.  “Have fun”, he said.  She quickly rushed out red-faced and embarrassed and drove off with her purchase.  She would never do that again.  It was so embarrassing. She could not wait to get home and use her new toy though.

When Maria got home she quickly ran upstairs to her bedroom and as she was going to be on her own for 2 hours. She got naked and then took the black dildo out of the bag and laid it down on the bed and put it in her mouth and pretended that she was sucking her Black Master’s cock. And at the same time she was fingering her vagina and getting wet. She then took the black dildo out of her mouth, put on some of the lube and forced it into her vagina and started to fuck herself as she closed her eyes and pretended that her Black Master was fucking her with his huge black cock. As soon as she felt a powerful orgasm build up inside her, she shoved the dildo all the way into her vagina and then she screamed out as she had a powerful orgasm and squirted on the bedsheets, collapsing with exhaustion with the dildo still inside her vagina as she felt the orgasm spread through her body. When she recovered from her orgasm she took the dildo out off her vagina and then got off the bed and cleaned up, putting her new toy away under her side of the bed. Satisfied, Maria thought to herself that she still needed the real thing. She put on some casual clothes and went downstairs to prepare dinner.

The rest of the week went quickly with her racing home each day to play with her toy. On Thursday evening she got a reminder text from her Black Master telling her to meet him at the hotel after she finished work on Friday before heading to the theater. She sent a confirmation text to her Black Master telling him that she would meet him on Friday at the hotel.

When Friday came she began to worry about what type of friend she was going to meet and what specifically would he want her to do for him. She was nervous about more strangers watching them.  The neighborhood looked scary and she hoped the people inside would be clean. It was a scary part of Santa Monica Blvd. that she did not frequent for a good reason. As the day went slowly she tried to keep her mind off what was to happen later on when she went to meet her Black Master. And then after some time it was time to go home so she got her stuff and drove to the hotel to meet her Black Master. Her Black Master was waiting for her and she saw that her had laid out her outfit she was to wear tonight and it was a black see-through shirt, a short black leather skirt, black stockings, black garters and black shoes. She would be hard to see in the dark. Her Black Master looked at her and told her to get changed and watched her as the tiny business MILF transformed herself into a cum sucking whore. He told her to turn around and then slapped her ass and whistled. He said that if he had more time he’d fuck her right there himself, but that his friends come first and told her what was going to happen. He said that they were going to the Tiki and she would sit on her own and then after some time his friend will join her and she was to do whatever he wanted and he will be watching her as well.

Maria and her Black Master got into the car and he drove her to the Tiki. When they got there he told her to get out and then he got out and locked the car.  He told her that he was going to going and find a good seat. She should wait outside like a whore so that she could attract more customers.  And in 5 minutes she should go in (women are free) and when she goes in she will go in as Rebecca the black cock slut and find a seat in the middle of the front row and wait for his friend who will come in and find the seat next to her. He then went inside and she stood there in front of the hotel.  Everyone looked at her as they walked by.  Rebecca was mortified.  Suddenly two men stopped.  They had gold teeth and smelled like alcohol, “Hey baby, you gonna go inside and put on a show for us?”  Rebecca was repulsed by his breath.  She turned her head and nodded.  “See you inside,” he cackled as he and his buddy walked into the theater.  After a few more minutes, Rebecca walked to the adult cinema and then went in and walk to the front row and sat down in the seat in the middle row and waited. She saw a sign, “Management is not responsible for sexual conduct of its patrons.”  Rebecca was a bit worried. When she walked in from the top level, she could barely see about a dozen men sitting in the back rows. She noticed the Black Master was there too. He did not look at her.  As she walked down to the front row, she could feel their eyes all watching her.  She took off her coat and put it on the seat next to her to reserve it for her Black Master’s friend.  She looked up at the movie and it was a blonde girl in a theater much like this one and she was having a gang bang with 4 or 5 black guys. As she watched, she realized it was this exact theater. Finally she felt a presence next to her. He sat down next to her and he introduced himself as Bill and he said you must be Rebecca and she said yes. Rebecca started to relax as he seemed to be alright, dressed in a suit and as much out of place as she was. She started to relax and they watched the film. As she was relaxing she saw her Black Master move in a few rows behind them.  She felt Bill put his hand on her leg and was moving it up her leg and she spread her legs to give him access. Rebecca closed her eyes as she got wet he touched her vagina and found out that she was not wearing any panties and he started to rub her clit. Rebecca was getting turned on by the thought of secretly getting fingered in a dark room full of strangers and sat back to enjoy what Bill was doing to her. He leaned over and started kissing her and rubbing her breasts.  He then got down between her legs and started to lick her wet clit with his tongue and then he lifted her skirt and open her vagina and pushed his tongue into her vagina and started to fuck her vagina with his tongue.  Rebecca let out a loud audible gasp but quickly stopped so as not to call attention to the others in the theater. This was so taboo and he was driving her wild and she was grabbing his head and forced his face into her vagina, wrapping her legs around his back until she had a powerful orgasm and sprayed her face with her cum.

Bill then wiped his face and then he sat back down in his seat and then pulled his zipper down and took his cock out and told Rebecca to get down on her knees and put it in her mouth and suck it.  She stood up, pulled her skirt back down and then bent down. As she put his cock in her mouth she started to gag as he was very wide and he forced his cock into her mouth and he started to fuck her mouth hard.  He was not gentle.  He was a dirty talker and told her that she was a dirty slut who likes to suck big black cocks. Rebecca was worried and told him to be quiet or others might hear.  After some time he took his cock out her mouth and told Rebecca to take her blouse off and he pull his pants down and told her to sit on his cock and fuck him. Rebecca deftly took off her blouse and put it on the seat got off the floor and got on top of his legs and started to put his cock into her vagina and sat down on his cock until it was all the way in and then started to fuck him hard and fast. As she slid onto his cock and looked over Bill’s shoulder, she saw that the Black Master had moved into the row behind them and was taping the whole thing.  While Bill was fucking her he wet one of his fingers and slowly push it into her ass and started to finger fuck her ass as he was fucking her vagina.  Rebecca pursed her lips.  It felt so good, but she was trying to be quiet.  Tears ran out of her eyes as she had another powerful orgasm and suddenly couldn’t hold out and longer and screamed at him to keep fucking her with his big black cock. Now the whole theater knew what was going on in the front row.  All the time he was fucking her she was turned by the knowledge that she might be watched by all these men as she was riding his cock.  She was a dirty slut and  loved it.

As she was fucking Bill she looked at the movie and noticed the woman had all her holes filled.  She heard a noise and when she turned around she got a surprise as she saw about 8 black men with their cocks out standing around her and they were playing with them. Rebecca was getting turn on as see saw all these huge cocks that she wanted to reach out and touch them. She told Bill to fuck her harder and faster and she rode his cock as she watched the cocks in front of her.  Bill whispered to her, “You want these cocks?  You can touch them. It is okay.” This turned her on.  She said, “I want to be covered in cum.  Give it to me.  Cum inside me Bill.  Cum inside my pussy.  I want to be your theater slut.” Soon Rebecca was screaming that she was cumming and then she pushed down on his cock as she had another powerful orgasm and let out a scream and squirted as well, soaking Bill’s suit pants. This made Bill fuck her harder and he was telling her that she was a dirty whore who needs to be fucked by black cocks and at the same time some of the men in front off her were starting to cum over her breasts and putting their cocks against her lips.  She opened her mouth and smelled the stale smell of the man she had met outside.  Their cum was running down her body and then some of more of the men took their place and covered her body with their cum.  She felt it ripping down her back. She grabbed the cock in her mouth and gave him a blowjob until he was ready to cum as well and filled her mouth.  Some leaked out and dripped onto Bill’s head.  It didn’t bother him.

Then Rebecca felt Bill push his cock all the way into her vagina and touched her cervix and then he started to fill her vagina with his cum, roaring like the king of the jungle.  Anyone watching the movie no longer was paying attention to the screen. When he finished he lifted her off his cock and told her to clean his cock. She got down between his knees and bent at the waist to clean his cock.  While she sucked his cock, men came around behind her and lifted her skirt, licking her pussy and sticking their cocks inside her. When she was finished Rebecca stood up and took her skirt off on then lay down on the floor and told all the men to jerk their cocks and cum all over her body and her Black Master came down to the front and started to record Rebecca being covered in cum. As the men started to cum over Rebecca, she was telling them that she was a dirty whore who likes to be covered in a black man’s seed and then they all started to cum over Rebecca and covered her body and face with their cum. Cum was leaking from her vagina as well and Rebecca was playing with her clit at the same time and had another powerful orgasm, squirting on the floor. When they had all cum on her,they all left, leaving her cum soaked body on the sticky floor of the theater. Her Black Master picked her up, gave her her clothes, and he led her to the ladies room where she cleaned as much of the cum off her body and hair as she could and then got dressed. She followed her Black Master to her car and they both got in and drove off.

On the way to his hotel Rebecca looked at her Black Master and said thanks for a great night and then he said to her that as his black cock slut she was expected to enjoy wherever he took her to meet his friends and fuck them. When they arrived at the hotel they both got out and locked the car and then went in and he told her clean up and put her regular clothes on before going home. After cleaning up, Rebecca went back into the bedroom and got dressed again in the clothes she arrive in and then when she was ready her Black Master told her she could go and to look for his text. He gave Rebecca her car keys and she left.  She was still leaking cum from her vagina and her panties were soaked and she found some tissues and put them on the seat to try and soak up the cum and drove home.

Movie Review – Alien: Covenant

I saw Alien: Covenant on opening weekend in heavy anticipation of seeing how it would connect Prometheus to the original Alien movie.  I was also told it would make things more transparent and it would be really scary.  Scary I am not sure about but definitely suspenseful with non-stop action.   In typical Ridley Scott fashion it was dark with lots of fighting.

What I really like about the film is that they didn’t get too crazy with new technology.  I always hate when you see recent movies that are supposed to precede a famous movie that was from 20 years ago and now the technology looks so much better (Star Wars).  So the new Androids are upgraded, but still aren’t necessarily better, the guns aren’t better, etc.

What the movie does do well is close the chapter on Prometheus.  What it doesn’t do yet is tie into the original Alien movie.  It doesn’t really explain the Corporation and how it continues it’s plan.  It doesn’t explain how the Aliens continue to expand.   It does explain how they evolve into their current state.

I definitely recommend it for any Alien fan.  You have to watch them all out.  It definitely does a great job of making more sense out of the Prometheus movie.  There are lots of great Easter eggs in this movies.  Go check it out unless you have no interest in this series.

I give the movie a 3 erection out of 5 rating.

Before you watch this movie, here are a few things you should do first:

  1. Rewatch Prometheus if it has been awhile
  2. Rewatch this video about how David was created: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJ7E7Qp-s-8
  3. Watch this Short on the creation of Walter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4Cmf4BuNgg
  4. Watch this short called the Last Supper: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkXgRlRao5I
  5. Watch this short called The Crossing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeMVrnYNwus

SPOILERS (Read at own risk)

There are weird things for me.

  • It appears Daniels figure out it is not Walter way before when stitching and other things happen after the fight?
  • Why does David help kill the creature?
  • Why did all those people turn into statues and not just become Aliens?  Remember in the first movie how the guy becomes infected and just disintegrates into the water?
  • So where do we go from here?  Do we go to the new colony and find out if David incubates Tennessee and Daniels or some of the new colonists?

Movie Review: Guardians of the Galaxy 2

So I went out on opening weekend to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2.  I was skeptical of this concept initially and did not see the first one until it hit On-Demand, but I eagerly anticipated it.  Disney and Marvel have put a lot into this movie including Free Comic Book Day yesterday, creating a whole new ride at Disneyland, and adding many cameos into the movie.

Don’t listen to just me, but everyone else I heard leaving the theater also said this one was almost funnier and better than the first which says a lot.  I was laughing so hard!  I also loved the music almost as much as the first movie.  If you love 70s and 80s Pop/Rock you will be checking Google to remind you who sang certain songs.  Quick, who sang the song “Brandy”?

Overall there is a lot packed into the 2 hr 15 min. movie and you’ll leave with your friends re-counting the different scenes and reminding each other about the different small scenes the movie uses to stitch things together.  Of course, as in all Marvel films, Stan Lee has a quick cameo.  It is pretty quick, so don’t miss it.

My favorite scene?  The one with Groot dancing.

Make sure to see this movie if you loved the first one.  Also don’t forget to stay for all the credits so you see the little extras and outtakes from the movie.

Movie Review: Life

Went to see the movie, “Life” and it did not disappoint from a special effects and thriller standpoint, but I will get to the point.  Thrillers for me are better when the actions are plausible and smart.  I find in the movie that many of the circumstances and situations in the movie did not seem like the right or most plausible actions, all the way up to the very end scene.

You know those movies where people are running from a very slow Frankenstein but always keep tripping and falling until he catches them because they can’t manage to stay on their feet despite his inability to run because of his bad limp?  Or how about when they hide in place for too long letting him catch up when they should be running and putting more distance between them.  Well this movie is a lot like that.  In fact, it isn’t until the final scenes that they decide to do what I would have done 2 hours earlier in the movie and by then they are in even deeper doo-doo.

The possible outcomes are pretty predictable throughout the movie so the outcome did not surprise me and was the least suspenseful part of the movie.   I give it a 3 erections out of 5 although it was entertaining

Movie Review : Moana

So I had to babysit my boyfriend’s kid the other night and we watched Moana.  Yes it was a Disney film and I don’t normally watch these kinds of movies anymore, but they are so cute and always filled with the right messages of fulfilling your destiny, overcoming your fears, girl power, etc.

I do think that secretly why I do not watch these movies is that I don’t want to catch myself getting into it and not being able to get the catchy song out of my head (remember “Let it go” from Frozen).  Well there is a song just like that in Moana.

I have to say it is fun.  I love the Pirate Coconuts.  I laughed pretty hard with that and the stupid chicken.  I have to admit graphics have gotten a lot better these days.  I’d give this 3.5 erections out of 5.  If you want good innocent fun, have a peek at this one.